Sample Religious Studies Paper on Revised Thesis

Revised Thesis

Student’s Name,

P. O. Box

Sule College,


17th February 2016

The Principal Supervisor,

Catholic University,


Dear Sir/Madam


I hereby present an outline of the corrections I did on my thesis while you were away. These corrections were according to the Co-Supervisor’s instructions.

  • The introduction on Page 1- 4 were revised to reflect the thesis, rationale, objectives, research questions, study limitations and significance and synopsis of the chapters and not an overview of Muslims in Australia
  • Modifications included key question(s), leading argument of the thesis, synopsis of chapters and how the chapters contributed to answering the question(s) and articulation of the main argument of the thesis
  • Modifications included linking questions on page 19 to the discussions in the previous pages
  • Addition of content to the introduction and conclusion of literature review as it was very brief and failed to explain why authors like Fowler and El Kindi were chosen (Page 5&6).
  • Sections discussing religious education for Muslim children in Australia were therefore included in the literature review
  • In particular, chapter 5, textbook analysis, on page 84-94 needed significant revision, as it did not discuss much of the selected textbooks apart from the significant questions it answered. Therefore, the entire chapter was modified to include vital information from the textbooks. In particular, more information concerning the significance of introducing Islamic education to small children in schools were derived from the books. Page 79-80 had additional references
  • Conclusion section was also revised. Sections such as objectives, limitations, and significance of the research had to be relocated to the introduction. Instead of using normative language, descriptive language was used in this section. The section was also revised to include how Islamic education is, amendments that need to be introduced and recommendations in relation to the research
  • Recommendations were revised to relate to the research by adding supporting evidence
  • Other reconsiderations included writing the project in third person instead of first person
  • Digital sources used in the modification of the work were included.

Thank you.

Yours faithfully,

Student’s Name