Reflection on Paper
What the writer does well is making the reader understand who the 1% and 99% are. In the first paragraph, the writer underscores people’s beliefs that the 1% comprises of the super rich persons that have too much money whereas the 99% consists of people stuck in the middle class or poverty and despair with minimal or little opportunity to climb out.
No thesis statement is included in the work although the line “There are several factors that influence this enormous income gap” might work as the thesis statement for the work. The writer ought to explain more about the work’s primary focus because he wanders from looking at the income gap to who the 1% and 99% are.
The writer’s ideas in the first paragraph can be developed more. Detailed explanations should be given as to why the statement “the 1% are rich and greedy and have too much money and do not give back to the 99%” is true or untrue.
In the second paragraph, facts are stated but not supported, and thus, the validity of the facts can be doubted. In this case, the writer should quote and paraphrase more to enhance the validity of the stated facts.
The paper can better be organized by including a thesis statement at the end of the first paragraph and beginning the other paragraphs with topic sentences followed by facts that support them.
The writer can delete the argument that without the 1% that holds the 0.1%, people would not have the technology that they have now, the clothes they wear, or the daily necessity they use every day. This is because the middle class have also contributed to the global economic growth and provide employment opportunities for themselves.
From a personal perspective, the writer does not think critically because throughout the work the untrue facts are not distinguished from those which are true.
A suggestion that would help the writer improve the paper is the inclusion of citations or quotes to support the arguments in the first, second, and third paragraphs.